Nobody with a pulse walks around without fear. Some are more courageous than others and face it head on, despite needing a fresh pair of shorts on the other end.
But fear is present in all of us.
With that said, what are you afraid of:
Don’t spit back your answer like you’re trying to win your team a turn on Family Feud.
Sit and think on it.
Entertain both sides of the coin.
Spend some time with both possibilities.
Because although your gut shouted “Failure, you idiot!” I need you to see that there’s much more to it than that.
The truth is, your gut is right. You are scared of failing. You are afraid of looking stupid. You are terrified of going all in on yourself, your business, or relationship and getting a Dikembe Mutombo style finger wag from the universe.
Not today my friend.
But that’s not the only thing you’re afraid of.
You see, the fear of failure is the fear of the no. You are scared of asking the question, “Am I [good, smart, good looking, experienced] enough to succeed?”
And then being met with a resounding, “Nahhhh, man.”
Understandable. That answer’s going to hurt every time.
But your fear of success is different.
The fear of success is the fear of the yes.
It is being afraid of actually getting someone or something to yield to your desires and having to show up and prove you are worthy.
It plays out like this:
You ask that beautiful woman out—you know, the one you didn’t think you had a shot with—and she says yes.
“Oh shit. Now I have to get her to like me!”
You say what price your product or service is—you know, that price that makes you uncomfortable to say out loud—and they agree to pay up.
“Oh god, now I have to show that I’m worthy of that cash.”
You ask your boss for a long overdue promotion—after sweating it out for the last 6 months—and they agree to it with little resistance.
“Oh boy, I’m not sure I’m really ready for that responsibility.”
When you’re afraid of someone saying yes to your powerful requests, you are fearful of your own success.
Plain and simple.
Do you see yourself in any of those situations?
Have you found yourself petrified of showing the world what you’re made of when you’ve been given permission to do so?
If you have, you’re certainly alone.
Most of us are afraid of the yes of success and the no of failure, but let me ease your mind when it comes to soiling yourself over your potential success:
The fact that you had the guts to ask the question that received a “yes” in response indicates that you more than likely have what it takes to get the job done.
If you had the gall to ask that gal to dinner, and she fires back a “yes” in reply, you’re doing pretty well already.
If you had the balls to start a business that you love when everyone told you that you were crazy, that courage will get you halfway to the finish line.
If you had the cojones to ask for more cash at work, you’re already better off than everyone else that just sits quietly in their cubicle hoping for a raise.
Having the courage to stick your neck out is a pretty good sign that success is yours for the taking.
Enjoy the ride.
Success may be scary, but it’s pure bliss on the other side of that accomplishment.
It’s cool to be afraid, but have the courage to keep showing up.