You woke up this morning with tension in your body. The stress of your circumstances has you walking around like tin man without your oil can. Your main squeeze (people still say that, right?) gave you a hard time last night, your funds are running low, and your boss just said something that has you on the verge of tears.
Life has it’s challenges, no doubt about that. But I urge you to think about what role you have in how tough you’re making life out to be.
I’m not here to tell you that your problems aren’t significant.
I’m not here to downplay the reality of everything that you have to do and accomplish every day.
I am here to tell you that your perception of those daily tasks may be what’s causing that tension in your body. Your mind and body don’t have to be a victim to the cards life has dealt you.
There is a better way. Walk with me for a minute.
What’s Got You Down?
Write down everything in your life that bothers you. EVERYTHING. Don’t leave anything out.
Did your paycheck came in a little lower than expected? Put it down.
Have your kids been driving you nuts lately? Write it.
Are the holidays adding extra pounds along with the gifts wrapped under the tree? Jot it down.
Have a little vent session with the piece of paper in front of you or the keyboard you’re banging on.
You’re going to feel pretty good about airing it all out. A lot of that tension you’ve been holding onto will loosen up just by taking a few minutes and get clear about what is bothering you. We often go so long without digging into our stress that it just snowballs without a conscious thought.
But we’re not done yet. Don’t vent and leave it. It’s time to reframe all the ugly in your life and get some perspective.
Become a Control Freak
Now, with each statement about what ails you, as yourself this question:
“Do I have control over this circumstance in my life?”
If you do, act.
If you don’t, accept.
Whether you nodded your head in agreement or flipped me off just now, I need you to cement this concept into your brain.
If you can control the outcome of something, do something about it. If you choose not to, you’re not allowed to be stressed about the result.
If you can’t control something, accept the fact that there’s nothing you can do about it and mentally move on. You can’t carry around the baggage of the world’s problems if you can’t do anything to solve them. Don’t be a martyr.
Can you have sympathy for a stranger on the news who has gone through tragedy and enjoy your life simultaneously? You bet.
Can you have empathy for someone you know who was diagnosed with cancer and still go about your day? Absolutely.
But you don’t need to let these things consume you if you can’t control how it all plays out.
So, keep coming back to the question: “Do I have control over this circumstance?”
If you do, act.
If you don’t, accept.
It’s as easy and as difficult as that.
Why This Is So Important
You get more of what you focus on.
By giving your emotion, attention, and efforts to things that you can control, you will find that life delivers you more opportunities to take ownership of your circumstances.
However, if you spend your energy and focus on things that you have no control over, you will feel like you are constantly at the mercy of things you can’t do anything about.
Rather than focusing on the fact that you have to get up for work so early, focus on the fact that you can set up your coffee, pick out your clothes, and make your to-do list before you go to bed to make your morning less hectic.
Rather than focusing on your failed relationships, focus on the fact that you played a role in their demise. Therefore, you can look at your own habits and behavior and improve them so you can begin to attract the best relationship of your life.
It’s not worth your time to surrender your power away to people and events that you can’t control. Leave them be and bring your attention back to what you can get your hands on.
There’s no day like today to start creating a bright future. Just make sure you do so by focusing your energy on things you can actually do something about.
Your Monday Doesn’t Have to Suck!
Grab your copy of the Moving Past Mediocre Weekly Reflect and Direct Exercise and you’ll soon find a way to:
- Look back on the week that’s passed with a smile, realizing that your life is AMAZING.
- Look forward to the week ahead, knowing EXACTLY what you’re going to conquer.
- Rid yourself of those Sunday Blues.