I’ve never really been one to let myself get overwhelmed. As my wife would say, I’m as cool as a cucumber. I stay calm under pressure and don’t let many things get to me.
Well, until I had to be a dad and stuff.
I was asked by a friend how fatherhood was going and this was my response:
It’s like I had become a masterful juggler, making it look easy with a few balls in the air at a time—husband, teacher, writer, life coach, etc. And then someone tossed in a grand piano—parenthood—and expected me to continue to keep it all in sync.
Needless to say, a few alarm bells were sounded.
Perfectionism (or the lack thereof).
As a life coach, I consciously know how to navigate all of these things. But being a dad was above my pay grade, so to speak. I was in over my head and didn’t know how to keep the juggling act going.
But as I spoke to my coach, Preston, about the stress that was sitting on my shoulders, I realized something as I heard myself talk. My overwhelm and stress didn’t stem from my role as a new dad or any of my other responsibilities, really.
My issues came from my attempt to do it all at once.
Rather than being present and clear within each task and role, I found myself in, I was trying to do and be everything at once.
I was trying to rock my little girl to sleep while thinking of content ideas.
I was trying to spend time with my wife while still thinking about coaching calls that I had to arrange.
As I talked through it all, I realized that if I just created boundaries with my time and attention, I wouldn’t be so overwhelmed with everything I’m doing.
One thing at a time.
One role at a time.
One moment at a time.
Life can only be overwhelming if we try to be too many things at once.
Life can get even more overwhelming when we try to do too much while being more than one thing at a time.
I do my best as a husband when I’m 100% a husband. It doesn’t serve my wife to be 70% husband, 20% teacher, and 10% content creator.
I do my best as a coach when I’m 100% a coach. My clients don’t get my best if I’m using 30% of my energy to consider how to be a better dad.
There’s enough time in the day to do it all. Just not at once.
Take this into consideration the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Ask yourself, “Am I trying to be more than one thing at a time? Am I trying to do more than one thing at a time?”
If the answer is yes to either question, take a deep breath and get centered in the moment.
Are you at your boys t-ball game? Be a dad.
Are you out to dinner with your wife? Be a husband.
Are you sitting in your office scrolling through Facebook? Get off your phone and do your job.
The other roles and tasks of life will be waiting for you when you’re done. Just be all in on this one.
See you next week!