This is important. This is huge. Tony Robbins wouldn’t have a job, Inside Quest wouldn’t be a show (Tony Robbins on Inside Quest, hosted by Tom Bilyeu) and The School of Greatness wouldn’t be a podcast (School of Greatness hosted by Lewis Howes) if the point of life was to settle for what you currently have. This is for all areas of life: your relationships, your job, your skill set, your fitness level, etc. There is ALWAYS room for improvement, and thinking that there isn’t is just pure ignorance.
Take my wife and I. A couple years prior to us meeting, we were both in serious, long term relationships. In both cases we were with that person for a long time (3-4 years) and we were living with them. Most people from the outside looking in on those relationships probably assumed that we were on track to get engaged, married, have kids, etc. But in both cases, Christina and myself weren’t fulfilled by the person we were with. We both couldn’t see a happy future with that person, even though that was the path that most thought we were on. In both cases, we ended the relationship, moved out and started fresh. There is something daunting about walking away from a relationship you’ve invested that much time in, but at the same time we knew that the 3-4 years spent with that person would be just a small fraction of our overall lives. It wasn’t worth stretching those years to see if it would work out. We both rolled the dice. It was a gamble for sure, but a gamble on ourselves. We knew we deserved and wanted more, and we needed to see if we could find it. Luckily, we did. It took some guts, and some patience, but we found each other. We’re both eternally grateful that we didn’t settle.
Yes, we ended our relationships because of our hope and want for deeper love. In that thought, though, hides the reason why no one should settle in any area of life:
We did what we did because we knew we deserved more.
Know your self worth. If you don’t, spend some time figuring it out. What do you want in your time here on this planet? The time that you’re here is precious, and limited. Spending that time just going through the motions, waiting for life to get better, is no way to live. Find what you need to be fulfilled and then work your ass off until you have it.
For us, it was “no doubt about it, smile when I wake up and go to bed, grateful every minute of every day” love. For you it may be a more fulfilling career, or a better house, or to lose some weight. You don’t have to necessarily walk away from everything to make it happen. You can work on what you have until it’s what you want. What do you deserve? Answer that question and then you know what you need to go after. Don’t wish or hope that the stars will align, make it happen. You have all the control you need.
Never. Ever. Settle.